OK, so Blake Griffin is a more skilled Joakim Noah who plays like a more athletic Karl Malone with the defensive instincts of Hakeem Olajuwon. Basically, he’s one of the best offensive players ever combined with one of the best defensive players ever, plus a little rising star, just for good measure. Blake Griffin, apparently, will win every single MVP for the rest of his NBA career. Good to know.
But that’s not it — Griffin also has a lot of other skills that may seem familiar:
- Makes omelets like a young Jacques Pépin, only fluffier.
- Writes piano ballads like Paul McCartney, but more touching.
- Acts in summer blockbusters like Will Smith only with higher box office potential.
- Paints like Leonardo da Vinci, but is probably a better inventor……
To add some for good measure:
- Break hearts like Taio Cruz, but does not need to use dynamite.
- Creates a whole new branch of mathematics like Issac Newton, but with less calculator work.
- Start another British Invasion, and not even have musical skills or be from Britain.
- Rob more banks than John Dillinger, and then puts the money back just to show how badass he is.
- Spits more hot fire than Waka Flocka Flame.
Anyone got more ways to tell of Blake Griffin’s greatness, leave it at the comments.